Caretaker

Dear Caretaker,

It's OK to care about others, but it's not in your best interest to continue to caretake.  People can and will take care of themselves, and it's really not your job to step in an "Mommy" everyone to death.  Even your kids want their independence and have worked hard to achieve it.  The dogs, your new kitten, they need actual caretaking in the form of regular exercise, visits to the vet, food and water.  Your clients need a different kind of caretaking, a hands on, I've got it approach that enables them to trust you with their homes and their money.   But in relationships, in your family and your love life and your friendships, people have already got what they need to take care of themselves.

It's time to take care of yourself...it's been forty plus years in the making and now is as good a time as any.  So today, when you handled the adjuster for the car that was in a wreck a week ago, got your hair done despite desperate texts from clients, went to the store and bought your meal plan groceries, paid your bills... you were taking care of yourself.  Tonight when you meet your lawyer date for a nice dinner, you are taking care of yourself.  Tomorrow, when you meet friends for lunch, get your house cleaned up, pick up your drycleaning, you are taking care of yourself.

So all that energy that went into fixing unfixable relationships, taking care of all your kids friends, your ex boyfriends family, the interpersonal problems your clients deluge you with...all that energy is now going to go into you taking the best care of you.  Because it is important, it's no one else's job, and it's the only way to finally be healthy and happy.  That's the only caretaking you are allowed for now, to care about yourself.