Dumped

Dear Dumped,

Still gives you a stomach ache, doesn't it?  That someone would just dump you without making any effort to work through the issues that led to the final horrible confrontation at a nice restaurant.  That isn't a relationship, how could you relate to someone like that?  You make every, and I mean every, effort to work things out, even when there is crying and door slamming involved.  Counseling, talking to friends, reading books, you work and work and still, you were dumped.

You can write about it, talk about it, try to work it through but in the end it is what his ex did to him, and what you did to your ex.  People get dumped.  There is at least a sense of empathy now for what your ex boyfriend experienced when you said enough and moved out.  It's like the foundation you built your life on crumbles into a pit of despair, and all the good gets dumped in that deep hole.

It's not right, it doesn't make sense, but it happens all the time.  Just because he didn't want you doesn't mean you are "unwantable"...it just means that you weren't right for each other, and no amount of loving kindness can change that.

So today when you go to the job site look in that dumpster at all of the cabinets, hardware, appliances, bits of wood and countertop, and see twenty years of memories from that kitchen that are being sent to the dump because it's time for change.  It doesn't mean the family is going to dump their good memories, the family meals, the kids doing homework at the counter, the games of scrabble.  It just means it's time to create something new, that something better is coming.