Dreamer

Dear Dreamer,

You have been a little out of touch lately, of course we all give you the benefit of the doubt with the boyfriend from Hell that you broke up with, the crazy work schedule, the social calendar of someone much younger and more energetic, still, you seem a little lost.  That being said, you also seem less controlling, less wrapped up in the drama of yet another failed relationship, less uptight.  So the dreamy glazed over aura that surrounds you is just surprising, not yet awful for those who love you best.  We want you back, the fun, ball of pure energy, up for anything, crazy loving, dramatic, victim of life, friend of the universe.  Is it that yet another dream ruptured and your life long goal of "happy ever after" died?  Are you in mourning?  Are you just burnt out having had to deal with damaged, aging men who refuse to acknowledge their shortcomings and plan for an albeit probably short marriage to you? Are you worn out from the swirling dreams that interrupt you every night along with the antics of the crazy revenge cat you bought to punish the last guy who left you?

Perhaps it is that you are finally allowing yourself to dream and it isn't about yet another insecure man and the damage he can do to your all together peaceful, happy life!  Maybe you are dreaming of the grandchildren that are soon to arrive, the book you are writing, the beach house you rented.  Maybe you are just at peace not having to try so hard to make a relationship work that never worked.  Maybe you are just relaxed finally, after decades of being abused by needy, controlling men.  The men who thought, no, truly believed, they were your dream come true.

It's not bad...no really, it's just different.  You seem to be traversing your own interior universe without much regard for the frantic, pleaser, worried self that used to inhabit your whole self.  You seem to be dreaming your own dream, independent of any one else.  While a little confusing to those of us who love you best, it is actually a nice change.  We were all tired of watching these piranha's eat you alive just because you were so loving and sweet.  So rest, dream, smile...keep on doing what you have been doing this past month.  We love you little dreamer girl...